


I thought I'd never see you again

by KatTrustNo1



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 20:13:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8636629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatTrustNo1/pseuds/KatTrustNo1
Summary: When Phil Coulson and the others are found Melinda May can't avoid what she feels anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first Philinda story!  
> I am an italian girl (so english is not my first language) who fell in love with Philinda since the begin. When I started to watch the show (2015) I never thought these two were going to ruin me in this way! These stubborn idiots in love should be together since day 1!  
> Anyway, I want to thanks Lucy (All_that_I_am) for being such a kind and amazing beta and for all the advices she gave me! Thank you, girl! :D  
> And thanks to Simo for the support and for the help in creating this!  
> Enjoy!

She ran. She ran so fast once they arrived back at the base that she didn’t even care about the people she hit while she ran to the lab.  
Two weeks. They had spent two weeks spent searching for Coulson, Fitz and Robbie. Two weeks spent with pain and anger because everyone thought they’d died in the field. Two weeks of complete hell for May and the team.  
She burst into the lab like a hurricane, not ashamed in showing how worried she was. May had changed after her death, and she changed especially in these last two weeks. The thought of losing Coulson again hits her in a way she couldn’t ignore anymore. And now, seeing him laying on that bed made her both happy and scared.  
\- “May, he’s fine!” - exclaimed Jemma approaching her with a little smile on her face - “He is just tired, and he needs to sleep. I gave him some painkillers but everything is fine” - she said reassuring May. The woman just nodded and watched Phil peacefully sleeping. She turned to Jemma - “How is Fitz?” - she asked.  
Jemma smiled - “He is fine. Just confused about all this stuff and curious to find out more” - she said.  
\- “Well, good luck on that” - she said with a snort - “How about the other one?” -  
\- “He is already up! Now he’s with Daisy trying to explain things to his little brother” - Jemma fiddlel with the controls on Coulson’s IV bag - “A few hours and he should be awake” - she said to May who was watching her partner again.  
\- “Why he is tired? It’s normal?” - she asked.  
\- “Absolutely! Coulson is… well, let’s just say he is not that young as the other two!” - exclaimed Jemma and a smirk appeared on May’s lips.  
\- “He’s an old bastard” - May said without erasing that smirk, and even if it was an unusual thing for May to say, Jemma could see the softness and the pure affection in her eyes. In these two weeks she had noticed the change in May. She was worried. May had disobeyed orders just because she wanted to bring him back no matter what. Jemma could almost swear she knew somehow Coulson was still alive. She didn’t give up. And now, more than the other days, Jemma knew why she acted that way: she was in love. And a woman in love can’t give up on the man she loves. Like her with Fitz. She felt hopeless but she didn’t give up, she needed to bring him back.  
\- “Can I stay here?” - May asked.  
\- “Of course” - Jemma said with a soft smile - “I’m going to check out the other two. Take a seat. You know what to do if you need me” - the younger woman said. May nodded and sat on a chair next to Coulson bed.  
  
The only thing he could hear was distant voices, he felt pain all over his body and opening his eyes was difficult. He did it, slowly. \- “Hey, sleeping beauty. You are awake” - May said while he blinked to get used to the lights again.  
\- “How long have I slept?” - Coulson asked with a hoarse voice while focusing on May.  
\- “Almost three hours” - she said - “How do you feel?” - she asked then.  
Coulson tried to move but the pain was still there - “Well, a little bit sore, I guess” - he said.  
\- “You need more painkillers? I’ll call Simmons” - May said ready to move but Coulson stopped her.  
\- “No, no. Painkillers make me feel stoned” - he said.  
\- “Now you want to blame them for that” - she said with a smirk.  
Coulson chuckled and then he focused again on May. Two weeks passed without seeing her. Without knowing where they where and if they could’ve come back. He missed her. She was his constant thought when he was “there”. He didn’t even know where “there” was.  
May felt oddly uncomfortable for a moment. It was like one of those moments when their souls were screaming to each other but they stay silent.  
\- “Oh, you are awake!” - Simmons entered the room with a huge smile and May was relieved for a moment - “How do you feel, sir?” - Simmons asked to Coulson.  
\- “Sore. But I don’t want any painkillers” - he said.  
\- “Let me check on you again” - Simmons said approaching the machines - “Well, I guess you just need to rest and no more missions until the next week at least” - the young woman said.  
Coulson tried to protest but May cut him off - “He will be good. I’ll keep an eye on him” - she said.  
\- “Then, I’m sure you will be in good hands, sir” - Simmons said with a smile on her face - “I’ll check on you later” - she said leaving the room.  
May and Coulson were alone again.  
\- “So… what happened?” - he asked looking at her - “Apart from the fact that I am apparently a step ahead in the _‘dead and come back to life’_ club” - he said amused.  
\- “Well, we are trying to figure it out. We don’t know what happened exactly. But let me tell you what happened for my point of view” - she looked at him - “you were being your usual idiot self that sacrifices himself for the others!” - she exclaimed upset.  
Coulson frowned at her, the amusement quickly disappearing from his face. Her eyes were dark, and he could actually see how angry and scared she was. May felt uncomfortable again and tried to keep herself calm.  
\- “I didn’t know Robbie’s uncle was crazy, and that I was going to be transported to a God-only-know-where place. It wasn’t my intention to disappear” - he said.  
\- “I should’ve stayed with you” - she said avoiding his eyes - “It was…” - she shook her head - “Never mind. Try to rest, I’ll be back” - she said leaving the room and a confused Coulson.  
  
She went to visit him every day. They never talked about it again. She tried to avoid to remaining alone with him and she succeed at it. Coulson was waiting for the right moment to talk to her. Too much things were left to say. That experience taught him how important she was to him, how he needed her in his life. They needed to talk. He was going to leave the bed when a voice blocked him.  
\- Trying to escape? May would not be happy" - Daisy was there and he leaned back on the bed with a smirk.  
\- “Just wanted to stretch my sore muscles” - he said and she gave him a smile.  
\- “How are you doing?” - she asked.  
\- “Good. Simmons says I can soon return on missions” - he answered.  
\- “Good” - she said.  
\- “I’m glad you decided to stay” - he said smiling.  
\- “Well…” - she sighed - “Director Mace didn’t leave me and Robbie with many choices, actually…” - she shrugged - “We stay here and collaborate or we become a target. Robbie needs to stay with his brother, so… no choice.” -  
\- “Well… whatever is the reason… it’s good to have you back” - Coulson said with a lovely smile. Then he tried to moving and pulled a weird face.  
\- “Maybe you should rest a few more days” - Daisy said seeing his expression.  
\- “Please, a few more days here and I’ll go crazy. Again” - he said smiling.  
\- “Well, I guess May will be the one who will decide on that” - she said with a smirk.  
\- “What now? May is my babysitter?” - he said amused.  
\- “No, but she is the boss when it come to you. You should already know that” - she said with another smirk.  
\- “Yeah, well… May think I’m old, that’s why” - he said.  
\- “She was worried, you know!?” - Daisy said drawing Coulson’s attention - “She did crazy things to find you. She disobeyed the orders, I almost thought she was going to knock the director out at some point” - she said amused. Coulson looked at her but he was focused on thinking about what she said.  
\- “Death changed her” - Daisy said - “The thought of you dead again…” - she didn’t finish the phrase - “I had to calm her down a few times while searching for all of you. We were all worried. We almost lost hope, but then May took charge and she said she would’ve continued the research alone” - Coulson was surprised. May didn’t given up on the search as he didn’t in the “other side”.  
\- “She said that you never gave up on her, and so she didn't gave up on you either” - Daisy said almost reading his mind. She smirked watching Coulson with a knowing-look - “Don’t tell her I said this to you” - she said then left.  
  
May was doing tai-chi in her room, alone, trying to get rid of all the stress of these last few weeks from her body. The thought of losing him again made her crazy. She couldn’t sleep, she needed to find him.  
Someone knocked at her door but she didn’t say anything, knowing who was behind it.  
Coulson entered and closed the door behind him, then he leaned on it and he crossed his arms watching May continuing to do tai chi.  
\- “You should be in bed” - she said after a few seconds.  
Coulson smirked - “I’m fine. I’ve had too much rest. Needed to leave.”  
\- “No way you are going to go on missions, though” - she said.  
Coulson’s smirk was still there, no way he could not find May being all bossy with him funny.  
\- “Daisy came to visit” - he said then. May stayed silent and continued to do tai chi - “Mace forced Daisy and Robbie to stay.” -  
\- “I know. It was not easy calm Daisy down. She is stubborn. Like you” - she said making him smile.  
\- “Well, you were her SO, though” - he said with his usual smirk earning a glare from May.  
\- “She had no choice” - he said serious - “She is a target. If she goes away Mace will not give her a second chance… I just…” - he sighed - “I just wish that she decided to stay because she wanted to…”  
May stopped and looked at him - “What’s the matter? She is here. That’s the important thing” - he sighed as May tried to find the right words - “Look, Phil… She wanted to stay alone. She could be anywhere right now, disobeying Mace’s orders, but she is here” - she said keeping Coulson’s attention.  
\- “What do you mean?” - he asked.  
She sighed - “I mean that things have changed. Daisy has changed. She disappeared for months even when we were hunting her. Do you think that she is here because of Mace’s order!?” - May was now in front of him, she put a hand on his arm and looked at him again - “Whatever the reason, we don’t have to push her. Give her the space she needs. You never give up, Phil, I understand. She is like a daughter for you. But don’t push her.” -  
He smiled and nodding, while they continued to look into each other eyes.  
\- “I… I missed you, you know?” - he said suddenly. May went stiff and clenched her jaw - I was in that… place, and I just… I thought I’d never see you again" - he said with a soft tone. They were so close that he almost forgot to breathe for a moment. She tried to stay calm and to keep her heart’s race to normal.  
\- “I thought about a lot of things” - he said a little unsure. She stay silent. Not ready for what was coming next.  
\- “What did you see, Melinda?” - he asked almost in a whisper, surprising both of them.  
They were still for a moment, then she turned away and he just watched her, waiting.  
\- “You were there and you asked me to not give up. To stay here because… ” - she stopped continuing avoiding his look - “Because you care”.- she said then.  
Coulson looked at her - “Why me?” - she looked at him and snorted.  
\- “I don’t know, Phil! I have no idea why it was you. I am questioning myself about this and I don’t have an answer…” - she looked pissed, because she was scared. He knew. He could see her body’s tension, he knew just looking on her eyes, dark and deep. She was scared because she felt exposed.  
\- “I think you do” - he just said, not sure where he found the courage, and she opened her mouth in surprise. But it was just for a moment - “I need to take a shower. You need to rest. Go.” - she said turning around, ready to go into the bathroom.  
\- “May” - she stopped when he called her name but she continued to avoid his gaze - “You know I do, right?” - he said - “I do care about you” - she clenched her jaw and then he left the room.  
Before walking away he could swear hearing a soft - _“I know”._ -


End file.
